Sunday, January 5, 2014

Wind Up (part I)

"When I was young and they packed me off to school, and they taught me how not to play the game. I didn't mind if they groomed me for success or if they said that I was just a fool...So I left there in the morning with their "god" tucked underneath my arm, their half-assed smiles and the book of rules. So I asked this god a question and by way of firm reply he said "I'm not the kind you have to wind up on Sunday"  So to my old headmaster, or to anyone who cares; before I'm through I'd like to say my prayers."

Ian Anderson-Wind Up/Aqualung 1972

And so before I am through I will want to have my say...If anything in life I have been too fair, too forgiving to people and elements that are not so inclined to fairness or forgiveness as I am. I have been developed the most keen introspect, and I am able to see my flaws and assets clearly. This can be a curse and a blessing...while I am able to see and therefor improve my flaws, or eliminate them altogether, I am at a disadvantage at times in that while I will admit my own wrong, I expect no one to do the same. I have learned that it is not my place to point out other's faults...As is my nature, I have no desire to lead or follow so my capacity to criticize others is low. Even to a point where I will often eat shit for this quality.

So it has been decided, by me of course, that while working on various writing ventures is well and good...it may behoove me to also take time to give my account of one of the more significant and turbulent relationships in my life. To this point the relationship will remain nameless...and it may always remain so, but the point is that people familiar will know and understand my own side of the events through the years. It does me no good to be silent on the matter...in fact, it only makes me look bad and lends to the other party's one sided campaign of chicanery and delusion.

Being the good sport that I am, I will always leave this blog uncensored...and any feedback is not only welcome but encouraged. This will be all for now...but I will end by saying that this brings me no pleasure. I simply need for my side to be heard.