Tuesday, October 1, 2013

JAIL 8-31-13

17 months. There are things I need to remember. 

My bed is a slab of metal that is attached to the wall. 

My food is mostly over processed garbage. If I wasn't a vegetarian it would be way worse. I need to remember that their meat comes frozen in unlined cardboard boxes. No plastic, no wrap...frozen meat in a box.

I need to remember sitting on my insoles when I shit so that I don't freeze my ass off on the steel toilet.

Remember my outgoing mail NOT being sealed in front of me, my incoming and outgoing mail read and censored.

My meager possessions are subject to the scrutiny of guards. 

Remember mechanical masturbation. Little or no pleasure, outlet for tension and a brief biochemical reaction.

I need to remember the clicking of magnetic locks, the din of constant idiot noise.

I have worn elastic waist canvas pajamas fro the past 17 months.

Book cases full of mindless waste of paper, bullshit novels and lame Triple Crown hood books.

Remember idiocy being the norm, remember having to dumb down my speech. 

Remember how most people can't stand a second of introspection, hence the constant jabber.

This is not my life. This is not my home. This is not for me anymore.