In the past 15 months I have experienced a lot and would like to think that I have come out a better person because of it. Fleet Maul was correct in comparing jail to monastery life and in calling it a Hell Realm, it is both, but one's mind is largely responsible for how one perceives it. For me, it is a monastery in Hell. I'm ok with this...of course I'd be even more ok with being released, but this is now and at the present I live in Hell.
I have read a handful of books that helped to keep me sane or taught me new perspectives or shared wisdom. Simon Wiesenthal, Alan Moore, Langston Hughes, Viktor Frankl, Hubert Selby, Allen Ginsberg, Jackson Katz, Howard Zinn, HH Dalai Lama, Henry Rollins, Dr Phillip Zimbardo, Jerry Stahl, HH Srila Prabhupada & John Joseph all deserve nods at this time.
I have seen a few old friends and made a few new ones.I continue to be blessed to encounter such good people in my life.
I have had the opportunity to communicate with my daughters, and hopefully to heal my relationship with them. I have been able to communicate and heal with my mother...and after all where would I be without her?
I have regularly attended therapy for over a year...longer than ever in my life. My Doctor is honest, and she is kind. She has helped to illuminate some dark areas with me.
I have also been corresponding with Sivali for over a year, he is also a kind and honest teacher. He shares freely his knowledge of the Dhamma of Buddha.
And Buddha...thousands of years ago a man, not a god, not a myth, came to some realizations. He shared them with his disciples...now all these centuries later his philosophy is practical and applicable in day to day life...You want to get rid of some of the bullshit in your life? Ask me about Buddhism sometime and we'll see what we can do.
I have been drug free for 15 months.
To bring this 15 months of my life to a close I want to leave you with words of the Buddha:
"Not through hating hatred ceases, in this world of tooth and claw
Love alone from hate releases, this is the eternal law.